home : overview : the steps : treatment : confession session : links : contact : letters : random : my aa writing : research
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." (Henny Youngman)
Letters and Comments
I have trawled through all the messages I have received on Youtube and my responses to them and some of you might be interested that Fernandodog has written to me before. Fernandodog is the man whose comment prompted me to make the video Blaemdenial on Trial.
fernandodog wrote in response to my Do The Steps or Die video:
Is this supposed to be 12th step work? For whom? Newcomers won't understand it or they will be frightened. And people who are sober and practicing the steps don't need it. Glad you got it out of your system.This has to be far and away the most intriguing comment I have received for any of my videos. Within its minimal words, the denial of AAs all over the world is revealed. The ignorance in asking whether this is supposed to be 12th Step work is astounding beyond belief, and shows a complete lack of investigation into why the video was made, despite the fact all the details needed to investigate this are provided in the video. If you took the time to make the comment, I would’ve hoped you too would have had the time to view my website.
‘Newcomers won’t understand it they will be frightened.’ That would suggest what I am saying is true but you want to withhold the truth from these newcomers out of the fear of scaring them. AA is the only way in your eyes isn’t it? AA is infallible? Do the Steps or Die??
‘And people who are sober and practicing the steps don’t need it.’ Why not? Is this not how the program works? Is this not the backbone of their sobriety? You are typical of all the self-centred AA members I know; you only consider yourselves, the people who YOU believe the program works for, and in the process you neglect the 95% of people who are potentially harmed by AA membership and in particular its insistence on personal powerlessness which leads to binge drinking and worsening drinking habits for many of these people. I am so BORED of people who defend AA by saying it helps people – I want to highlight the fact that AA harms people as well; more than it helps. Oh and this can be proven with facts, not some phoney spiritual faith based ideology dreamt up by Bill Wilson and Frank Buchman. If someone came up for a cure for AIDS that required the culling of 95% of the infected population, would this even be considered by anyone with a brain?
Go to the site and read what I have to say; take a leaf out of the Big Book and don’t suffer from ignorance prior to investigation.
Thanks for your comments nonetheless.
J a m e s GIt should be noted he never responded to this message.
Soon after that comment was posted the following one appeared from another user:
this video just frigthened the hell out of me... i'm trying to quit using opiates... which i am fully addicted to... and am on day two of being sober... and was planning on going to an N.A. meeting tonight... but not so sure now... hopefully i'll find something that works... soon...
Fernandodog then responded to this comment by writing the following:
Hey James... Look at the above comment from jizzikuh316. Did you read it? (I pray you read it more closely than your skimming of the Big Book and the 12X12). Guess what your bitter ranting has succeeded in doing? Can you guess? jizzikuh316 is trying to kick narcotics and you have made her untrusting of her local NA meetings. Chances are good that she will die with a needle in her arm. Nice fucking work, James. Glad you are on our side. Fucking addicts!
For those of you who have not seen the Blamedenial on Trial video or can’t view it for whatever reason, I shall reiterate the points I made in it.
It is amazing how in AA we are told we are powerless over people, places and things, yet as soon as we leave AA the above message would suggest its members believe we suddenly gain a tremendous amount of power. I really do not think I can be held responsible for the actions of others; if someone chooses not to attend AA or NA, or to use, that is not down to me. There are plenty of websites and videos out there that paint AA in a positive light. What is expressed here and in the videos is simply my experience. Why should members of AA be allowed to practice their 12th step by carrying their message, but I should just be expected to button my lip and hide the truth of my experience? AA members really do believe you have to do the steps or die, as this comment inadvertently highlights. It would also suggest that its members believe it is the only route of recovery that works, but the facts show that 95% of the people who go to AA end up leaving – thus the program, at best, works for 5% which just so happens to also be the rate of spontaneous remission, i.e. people who stop without any treatment at all. I hope the girl who posted the comment will benefit from not attending AA anymore because there is even more evidence that points to the fact that AA attendance makes an ‘alcoholics’ drinking worse by instilling the notion of powerlessness in them. AA cannot control the flow of information on the Internet, and it never will be able to. People are encouraged to speak freely on here and not express AA’s version of their experience, but rather the true reality of the process an individual goes through when undertaking the 12 Steps. Why should AA be free from the kind of scrutiny all institutions face? AA cannot expect to be immune from this simply because it claims to save lives.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Responses to Blamedenial on Trial:
Maybe the girl will be armed with some defenses against the widely promoted, erroneous information that the twelve step groups spew. And possibly she will find a method (as I have)that's based in reality, not 'spiritual' voodoo, possibly one that has a better success rate.
My point entirely,
J a m e s G
James,
You are not to blame for anyone relapsing. Everyone has a choice to pick up. I think that is a fact that is missing from XA. I haven't used today because I don't want to. I believe what you are doing with blamedenial and these videos is "letting the cat out of the bag." Someone had to...Thanks for your continued support; means a lot to me.
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good Job!
Love the videos!
The rhyme is very catchy; you could develop type of humerous "hook" for future videos. (I have one in the planning stages based on a poem about the "one-size-fits-all"
XA approach to spirituality. Will see you about figuring out how to post it when I've actually made it.)I have been thinking of making a satirical video of Bill Wilson and his life. I have not made any humorous videos to date for the site, but the more and more I become less programmed, the more I want to. We all need to have a sense of humour, and not just one that encourages us to laugh at our defects like we used to in XA.
I would love to hear your idea – have you done a story board? What software are you using? As for posting it, I would always suggest Youtube but I would try and keep the file size down to about 25meg, for faster streaming. If the film is over 10 minutes, I would be happy to post it for you as I have Director status on Youtube which means my videos can be as long as I want them to be.
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey James,
Great video, I have been following your work for sometime now, and I really admire your stance in your views and the courage and integrity you stick by it. I do agree with your views, but not because I need to be a follower, but because I to tried AA and was made believe from day one that without them I was worthless, and the way I see it, if I have to find a guruless cult to be part of, let at least be an healthy one, and the way I see it, AA is not healthy at all, not in mind or body, keeping you dry but remaining sick its not the answer...
Luis
Luis,
Thanks for the encouragement and support. It would be nice to hear more about your experience on the site. I absolutely agree with this line –
AA is not healthy at all, not in mind or body, keeping you dry but remaining sick its not the answer...Hope to hear from you soon.
Regards,
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of your best videos, in my opinion. It really hit all the main points head on. Great job, I am passing this one on.
DeeDeeDeeDee,
Great to hear from you, and I have to say it was the most meaningful one for me to make. It is the first time I have made public the accusations many people throw at me about contributing to another person’s relapse and thus death. It is not a nice thing to be charged with and one that I think we all agree is wholly unfair.
May I ask who or where you are passing this on to?
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Excellent.
Cindy
Cindy,
Thanks for your support.
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just went to the site. I didn't log in is there a title? Someone told you that you are killing people because of your anti step stance? A crock of crap. Too many abuses by them and all the community which has loaned them support over the years. If you can, pack up some of your videos, whether on mini dv or dvd or vhs tape and send some to Don (withheld)
Thanks rationaldlDon,
You can see the new video on the home page of my site. I can put some on DVD for you – can you tell me which ones you want? I could put them all on there but the less you have the better the quality will be. Where will you be showing them?
None of them are copyrighted or protected in anyway so if you can figure how to copy them off Youtube, you are most welcome to them. (I know there is a way and if you email me I will show you how.)
Regards,
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After all my trawling I found some more messages posted on Youtube by Fernandodog:
Oooh... James G... you have a big problem with the fact that a group thinks you might benefit from believing in a power greater than yourself. What impertinent turds they must be. How could there be a better or more knowledgeable power than your awesome Self. You're great! Wow.
I do believe in many powers greater than myself, but I do not believe any of them micromanage my life – I do not believe I have been chosen by any God or anything for that matter to be a recovering alcoholic on a crusade to ‘help’ others get sober and find their meaning of God. I really do not have a large enough ego to believe that something is looking out for me – I do not believe I am a miracle simply because to do so would suggest I think the many people who have died of drinking or using were somehow less important than me. I am subject to all the very same forces as the rest of us – I might be able to influence some of those forces but I certainly do not control any of them. I also think it would be very hard for me to determine the will of any power I might choose to run my life. Even if I did, the bottom line is it would be my choice to follow that power or not. I think it is a cop out to avoid taking responsibility for my own life and my own choices. Is the only point of being born with free will to hand it over to something else? Hmm. I would like to add that that very same group that tells me I need to believe in a power greater than myself might not tell me what that power is but they will tell me how to interpret its will for me by telling me to go to AA meetings and do the Steps and rely on a ‘group of drunks’ for guidance and support – in other words the group that tells me I need to believe in a power greater than me then effectively makes itself that power with clever but misleading words. What if any power I believed in told me not to go to AA?
I am glad you think I am great – I just think I am fairly normal and average to be honest, but it is nice to be told otherwise! ;)
He then posted the following message very soon after that:
Can't help but notice you must personally approve all comments. Got something to fear?
There are two reasons I like to approve comments for the record. Firstly I go away often and it can take me up to a month to reply to any comments, and I like to be able to post the comment at the same time as any reply. Secondly I have put my face to this and I do not want things to get too personal with people mentioning my family, my friends or anyone else close to me. Funny how you just attack that point considering you are a member of an anonymous fellowship. Put your money where your mouth is and tell us who you are. Or do you have something to fear?? I get the sense you feel a little threatened by the ever growing anti- AA, or pro truth, movement on the Internet. It’s a real bummer when someone comes along with the truth that makes your fellowship appear a little farcical.
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Other letters:
Hi James,
I got to know about your excellent website through the American "Boards".Great to find a UK based website.Good on yer for deciding to keep it up and running.
You have correctly identified "Treatment Centres" as the possible main offender here within all of this. I agree with your sentiment when trying to get an handle on all of this. Its so nebulous. Akin to grabbing smoke.
Just when I thought these Priory style centres could sink no further in their money making scam i came across an article maybe 3 or 4 months ago. I think it was in The Guardian or Independent newspaper.
Various treatment approaches were being discussed for addictions. Dr.Robert Lefever of the Promis Centre spoke of a 16 or 17 years old girl with an addiction to smoking (tobacco,cigarettes nothing more).The poor girl was admitted for residential "treatment" at the Promis centre. The treatment? Dr.Lefever goes on to state "we thought the traditional 12 Step approach to this problem would be the most successful for this girl" - almost verbatim quote here.
Can you imagine the poor kid doing a rigorous Step 4 and 5 and all the rest.One can only guess what she will do with the 12th Step.
Stick at it James, you are on to something.
Just like yourself i was a gung ho member of AA.Had lots of gut feelings that something is a bit awry here.Found the websites for Rational Recovery and the Orange-papers 4 years ago.Was I angry and felt duped? You bet.
Kindest regards and look after Numero Uno in all of this!
Anon.
20 years contentedly sober without the soul-crippling Steps by the way!!!
Anon,
Firstly congratulations on your sobriety. You raise an interesting point by mentioning the young girl in your letter. For my first stint in treatment I was the second youngest person there and I was indeed addicted to heroin, so some of AA’s dogma made sense to me at the time. However the youngest person there was a 16 year old boy who had been caught smoking cannabis by his parents. I felt so sorry for him. He was in residential treatment and I got the impression he tried very hard to fit in by making his consequences look a lot worse than they really were. I can only imagine what effect this has had on him since. He was just a young man experimenting and as a result of that he was instilled with the belief that he was a flawed human being that needed a God in his life, that he was never to drink again and continue to take inventory for the rest of his life. This kind of thing happens in the US more than the UK – they even have 12 Step Schools there where students learn about the Steps alongside their normal studies. Terrifying.
Would be great to hear more from you – we need all the support we can get.
Thanks for the letter.
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After posting the following on the Cult Education Forum here – in response to a thread about the possibility of AA being a cult, I received some interesting messages:
In order to determine whether an organisation is a cult or a so-called support group, one of the most important things to consider are the barriers to exit. AA sells itself as a fellowship of men and women that help each other stay sober but that is not strictly true. Only one of the steps mentions alcohol, however 6 of them mention or refer to God. AA tells us that this can be a God of our understanding, but regardless of what you may call your Higher Power, it is irrelevant because essentially what matters is that your Higher Power tells you to go to AA and do the Steps. AA won’t tell you what your Higher Power must be but it will make sure it tells you what your Higher Power wants. Once you accept that you are powerless in Step One, and you have handed your will and your life over to the care of God in Step Three, free will no longer exists. You cannot graduate from AA – in step 10 you are told you have to repeat the Steps 1 – 9 daily, and in Step 12 you are told to carry the message, or recruit more members to AA. AA is a rehash of the Oxford Group, which believed the individual was powerless full stop. Its leader, Frank Buchman, wanted to see a fascist dictator running the world in the way he believed God saw fit. AA also holds its co-founder, Bill Wilson, as an infallible guru, which would be in keeping with the vast majority of cults. (It is also interesting to note that Scientology also has its own ‘recovery’ program called Narconon.)
If AA did not instil the belief in newcomers that it has the only solution to the problem of alcoholism or addiction, then that would go someway to dispel these concerns. However, due to its Traditions, change cannot happen and the program is seen as flawless which is backed up by the slogan, ‘The program knows everything, you know nothing.’ Going back to the barriers to exit point, if AA tells people it is the only way and you have to go to meetings and work the steps for the rest of your life, where is the choice? In the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions Bill Wilson even goes so far as to say:
“Unless each A.A. member follows to the best of his ability our suggested Twelve Steps to recovery, he almost certainly signs his own death warrant. His drunkenness and dissolution are not penalties inflicted by people in authority; they result from his personal disobedience to spiritual principles.” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Bill Wilson, page 174.)
I think that speaks for itself – do it our way or die… may as well put a gun to someone’s head. Anyone who goes to AA will either go there, or be sent there, to deal with their drinking problems, but they will soon find themselves embroiled in a program of conversion designed to get the newcomer to believe in Bill Wilson’s and Frank Buchman’s way of life.
Kind regards,
J a m e s G
Founder of Blamedenial.co.uk[quote] I would bet that most people in AA don't know who Frank Buchman was and would only be interested in the principles that AA borrowed from the Oxford movement.....[/quote] Colter
That is the typical response I hear from most people in AA and a very common tactic employed by its members not only to defend the ‘program’ but also to promote it; you choose to ignore anything negative and get your magnifying glasses out and pinpoint only the positive aspects of AA. This only adds to my concern that AA may indeed be a cult because it attempts to remove itself from the kind of scrutiny afforded any other institution, and most frighteningly one that claims to save the lives of its members. I might also add that the reason most people in AA are not interested in the truth is because if they ceased to protect themselves from it, would it not be the case that their ‘faith’ in the program, the very thing they AA insists is cornerstone of their lives, would crumble? I can see why no one in AA would dare look into Frank Buchman, the Oxford Group, and soul surgery (The five C’s of which the 12 Steps were evidently lifted from). Frank Buchman was clearly a fascist who also supported Hitler which is well documented. Anyone that says the following is clearly deluded -
"I thank Heaven for a man like Adolf Hitler" Retrieved here
But having been a member of AA for 9 years and used all the very same tactics Colter is using I can understand them. The most important thing an AA member can do is distract his/her audience when faced with any form of criticism by attempting to reduce the individual rather than acknowledging a point and attempting to defend it rationally. Colter gives us an example of this in the following comment -
[quote]What is disturbing is that people who, for whatever reason decide not to get help in AA ,are not content to just leave but launch out on a campaign complete with web sites and a following to slander AA in the most vicious way proving the very contention that AA makes, that being that alcoholics are generally selfish immature people. [/quote]
If this proves the kind of fact you use to base your judgments on then you inadvertently prove another point of mine; AA decides its own facts. How does setting up a website prove that I am either selfish or immature? I am not saying I am neither of those things, all I ask is how setting up a website proves such a thing? That is like saying someone who wants to talk about the damage or side-effects of a drug prescribed to them is selfish and immature. I am not going to insult the members of this forum by dwelling on this point any longer.
I am in a rush but I want to deal with one other point before I go - Colter said:
[quote]There is nothing anywhere in AA literature which takes such an approach in the context that you presented it. I only know of instances where damaged relationships with others are the focus. Situations where a grudge may exist and one could benefit from fist seeing if they themselves had any part to play in the matter but certainly not rape. [/quote]
Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. (William Wilson, Chapter 5, Alcoholics Anonymous.)
Wilson does not use words like sometimes, or occasionally, he says “invariably” - he is saying anytime and every time we are hurt we have some part to play in it. Is this not just another tactic to induce guilt in the individual, which in turn instils a need in them to confess their sins there by reinforcing their dependence on the program, or the group? The War on Self as I call it; I am nothing but WE are everything attitude - very cult like to me.
Thank you all for your responses and Colter, I send this in the spirit of debate.
J a m e s GAfter that the following message appeared on the forum from its moderator, Rick Ross –
AA is not a "cult" by any objective criteria as outlined by experts in field of cultic stuidies.
See http://www.rickross.com/faq.html
We have been over this many times on various threads repeatedly.
Barabara was banned for repeating essentially the same posts over and over again and ranting.
The emails received from Barabara after that banning were revealing and bizarre to say the least.
She was and is an Internet "troll," someone who posts on boards with their own agenda and attempts to twist boards into endless debates and arguments.
This board is not for that purpose, but rather to share information and exchange comments for educational purposes.I wonder what kind of agenda he has? Surely we all have an agenda to some extent. Anyway I will let you decide…I got band from the Soberrecovery Forum for having an agenda. Hmm, what do they mean? Is it just another word AA has re-defined?
I then received a very interesting message in my mail box from Linda:
I read your posts on the RR forum, at least, I assumed it was you.
He's gonna hate your guts; careful you don't get banned. He banned the last person who posted actual intelligent articles discussing AA, and, though he claims to have been trained in recovery, flat-out refuses to answer any questions addressed to him about his training.
Everyone seems to think he's legit, but I know from experience he's not. Years ago I tried to send him info about a very dangerous US cult, (mainstream media articles, internet links,etc.), but it just pissed him off, and he threatened to ban me. So I quit posting on that forum.
I thought it would be worthwhile exposing AA on his forum, and still do, as he seems to have a national reputation. The subject of AA, however, especially AA and the courts, obviously gets him real riled up. I think he's an AA member and a "true believer", but doesn't want anyone to know. Or he may have powerful influences telling him to "back off AA"; who knows?
Thanks,
LindaLinda,
Thanks for the pointer! Makes a lot of interesting reading. How annoying that anonymity is – we never know who is really pushing AA and what their agenda is. I have ceased to post on that forum simply because the ending is so predictable. If I get banned it will only make me look like an internet ‘troll’ and serve his cause. I knew from what he said he was not a promoter of debate, but sadly, his own agenda.
Thanks again,
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
James
i did not realise you where keeping the site open until today I am so pleased by this you contribution and enlightenment has been a source to not only myself but many others sorry this is such a brief note i look forward to speaking to you again once again glad your still here
regards
Paul h
Paul,
Thanks for your all your letters of support.
Nice to hear from you again.
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I love your "Business of Addiction" video. I think this type of media presentation is the way to get the message out to the public that AA is not enough, but I have no ideas on how to get these sort of things aired. You're doing a great job, and I wanted to thank you.
I really hate the fact that XA has grasped control of the rehab industry. I was a victim of XA's stranglehold on the industry, as my therapist sent me to AA rehab who sent me back
to AA and so forth. I was ultimately "on my own" when it came to solving my substance abuse problem.
Surely there is a better way.
Thanks,L
L,
You’re most welcome! And thanks for the support and the compliments. The reaction to that video has been mixed but I have decided to keep it on Youtube for now.
Would be nice to hear more from you.
J a m e s G
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello James:
Thought I'd share my rant with you..It's a note which I sent to someone in AA. You may post it if you think it helpful.
Regards,
Denise
One of the many reasons why I know longer go to AA is because of the widespread abuse. Going on a regular basis and hearing the frival of "BOB's" (bitter old bastards) is not only not theraputic it is extremely damaging to a large number of people. I simply could not support or endorse AA or any meetings which support that crap in ignorance or lack of backbone. I know too many people, particularly women, who are deeply affected by that rage. And I must say, I too was becoming profoundly affected by it. Going to a meeting an working up anxiety and preparing for assault, witnessing it during a meeting and then leaving pissed off, just was not for me.
That's the obvious, but there is a far more subtle thread which runs through AA whihc is just as damaging, At one of my last meetings I heard a young women share something that I have heard hundreds of times throughout the rooms.."I drink because I'm an alcoholic" This was apparently a revelation which came to her by working with her sponsor. This woman has been strugggling with sobriety for a least the six years I've been in town, she has a bipolar disorder, an anxiety disorder, and a severly handicapped child, yet she drinks because she is a alcoholic! What a bunch of thought stopping happy horse shit. We all drink because of something, but we do not drink because we are alcoholics...we may have difficulty stopping due to the addictive nature, and after iniital withdrawal we may revert to that learned behavior because things in our lives are so overwhelming we may go mad if we don't drink (psychosis can happen) but it's learned behavior and it is learned because it worked. We need to teach people skills ..not prayerr and meditation.
While her sponsor may have only the best intentions, she has no background in alcoholism other than AA which it is my opinion that alcoholism is the best kept secret in AA. Her competancy to council someone struggling with addiction rests only in her own experience and 164 pages of dated, meaningless bullshit which she has poured over, dog eared, underscored and highlighted for the past decade. That is not competancy and it can also be deadly. To me it's frightening. Yet she has the capability to pronounce this young woman to be not only powerless over alcohol (which is a bunch of crap) but powerless over everything else in her life too..also a bunch of crap...no wonder she drinks.
She is one of the many whom I've seen who are slammed with "It works if you work it" If people continue to work what has never worked them.. or for any one else (my opinion)..she may die and she will have died and be assigned the value.."Well she died because she is an alcoholic and didn't get the program" Bullshit, she will have died a victim of a program that actually has no succes rate what so ever. That's immoral and it is abusive, but it is widely accepted.
Another case which has even convinced me more. I was recently at a human service place while the "professionals" were discussing some one who had been thrown out of a halfway house because she relapsed, only to be thrown out of a shelter because she relapsed. They said something to the effect that she just doesn't get it...she doesn't get it that it's the alcohol. I almost hurled my lunch. In six years I have never met any one who was in 'denial' . Denial doesn't not exist in my book. Anyone who has endured the damaging effect of addiction cannot possibly be in denial of the problem. But how in the name of god (excuse the contradiction) can this woman possibly learn to stay sober when her basic human needs are threatened because she is a human being who suffers from addiction and lives in constant fear..of becoming homeless by the very agencies that are allegedly trying to help her. The behavior savageley impossed on her was the behaviour which she has suffered alll of her life. Being further devauled, she has what chance of understanding that she is OK ..what chance of being sober does she have when she is told she is a fuck up and we don't help fuck ups...you just haven't hit your bottom...you didn't work a good program.
Any way...I think I'm in a bad mood..sorry.
Denise,
Thanks for that – it is posted now!
Nothing to add –except I agree!!!
J a m e s G
PS I might add something when I have sometime but for now I think it will help people as it is.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I like your work!!
(and your taste in music . . . your choices for film scores are excellent)
Best,
Graham
Graham,
Finally someone noticed! I have been waiting ages for someone to mention my taste in music!!!
Thanks,
J a m e s G
More letters will be added soon - always nice to hear from people.